where does one gain their strength when strength seems to be the last resource you will need to face your biggest nemesis? how do we become the person we are meant to be when the world focuses on exposing us for who we are not? will we not be pardoned by the false pretenses of reality to leave the scene of tragic events reoccurring on the wheel of infinity?
somewhere within me it all sparked dim colors of lights absence. the world was viewed normally but not clear, not ordinarily. something about myself was altered. each thought that cleared my head as i exhaled the toxicity grew more odd, less comforting and bleek. i stared down into a pool of unwanted information waiting for a sign, hoping for change in the one corner of the world that mattered at the moment the most. Hours went by with nothing being the gift awarded to my patience. as tired as i had grown, as weary as i may have been, hope had not yet abandoned me; i just knew this battle would continue on another day. for now it was me an my poison slowly dying together wandering a world that had divorced questions an answers, with no children of solutions. the night had become me once more.
»at this point please watch and listen before continuing
another day has passed with this quiet storm that hovers me an me alone, transforming me into a ghost of paranoia on my exterior to the rest of society. The weather is pale an of tremendous mysterious heat. Hope not lost i continue down nothings path hoping for a guidance i do not know, praying for a feeling i cant explain but desire… quietly i feel. i find myself back at the same place, at the same time everyday where nothing makes much sense… nobody has answers, just more problems to be equated by a sea of solutionless jargon. I grew more distant from the world with each lifting minute from the clock. My mind was acting as if it were trying to remember something that i had lost, while i felt i was reliving a nightmare. Do i not know my purpose anymore? could it be possible i have infact lost sight of my own self? all of this because of an emotion resurfacing for an unknown cause?
it was when i least expected it. when nothing seemed to be working to help me reach a conclusion, a first encounter with possibility happened. i found myself where i had lost all time the previous day, staring into useless information searching for something of use. It began to call for me… startled with uneasy vibes of fear i was slow to react to its attempt. i grabbed anxiously then to understand the occuring events…before i was able to speak… her voice shocked through me… an all that was said was.. i still love you…we need to talk… we agreed to meet… i was beside myself with unknown emotions…once again…night become me once again……….